Two hours to Copenhagen

Roaring trade until 18 December

Roaring trade until 18 December

OK, I can’t put it off any longer. Yes, the biggest climate gab-fest in the history of the planet is set to kick off in a little under two hours. All the delegates have arrived in Copenhagen, checked in to their seedy little hotels, and have been issued maps to the Red Light district. After the daily tedium of climate change negotiations, we can be sure the local ladies of the night will do a roaring trade!

So what’s the point of all this? There won’t be any binding treaty, as that was chucked in the dumpster a couple of weeks ago, so it will be an expression of wishes at best.

China and India are only prepared to reduce “carbon intensity” which is emissions per unit of GDP, so their emissions will still increase rapidly, just a little bit more slowly than otherwise (because, let’s be honest, China and India are far more interested in economic growth than worrying about fixing a non-problem). The UK has already passed crippling laws that call for an 80% absolute reduction in emissions by 2050 – good luck with that. The US has the Waxman-Markey bill stalled by the Senate, and nothing much else apart from Obama’s platitudes.

And then of course there’s us Aussies, who have made headline news around the world by becoming the first country to see a leader of a major political party elected precisely because he is a sceptic. Go Aussie!

So what can we really expect? There will be a great deal of pontificating from the usual suspects: Pachauri, Obama, De Boer, Rudd, Brown etc etc. There will no doubt be stirring speeches about the fact that we have only [2] [5] [10] [20] [50] years to save the planet (insert appropriate figure). There will be acres of news coverage from Fairfax, which will try spin every announcement into something positive and encouraging. Unfortunately, however, there will almost certainly be no deal, and if we’re lucky, the whole thing may descend into farce and recrimination.

But, as my late uncle always used to remind me, “You can’t polish a turd.”

Strap yourselves in for the ride. Let’s pray for snow (maximum forecast for Friday: 2˚C).


  1. “After all the talk, the talks begin in earnest today, with a carbon footprint big enough to squash a small Pacific island. By boat, bus, plane and train (but mainly by plane), 20,000 delegates, campaigners and journalists are arriving in Copenhagen in advance of “the most difficult talks ever embarked on by humanity”. More than 1,200 limousines will grace the city’s streets as 98 world leaders talk about how to save the planet. Most of the stretched vehicles have been driven hundreds of miles from Germany and Sweden. Last week, France ordered an extra 42 of them. Only five of the limos are hybrid – the rest are petrol and diesel.”

  2. “the most difficult talks ever embarked on by humanity” LOL! Oh stop it you Copenkooks you’re killing me!

    The IQ of the rest of the world just went up 20 points with all the insane now gathered in one place in Corbonhagen. Enough is enough. Obviously political leadership naturally attracts the cunning statist determined to control not only every aspect of your physical life but also how you think (e.g. Rudd’s disgraceful Lowy Institute speech recently).

    The US EPA is about to declare CO2 as dangerous. Who would have though exhaling would be dangerous. Check it out on

    The greatest danger tot he planet is the political madness that is sweeping much of it.

  3. One would hope that the Copenhagen ladies of the night would have higher standards than to consort with the depraved rabble of seedy caravan followers that trail around after these Climate Change circuses. Remember – these are people who think the greatest kick in life is to torture data into submission.

    Somehow I just can’t get the picture out of my mind of some of our local geniuses availing themselves of ….. oops — sorry — where’s my bucket??

  4. “But, as my late uncle always used to remind me, ‘You can’t polish a turd.'”

    I’m sorry but Mythbusters proved that you can! And doing so was certainly a more useful exercise than the Copenhagen Circus.

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