Labor climate change glossary

Cut out 'n' keep!

Fed up with the spin? Confused by the lies? You need ACM’s handy cut-out-n-keep glossary.

Here are a selection of Labor’s climate buzzwords and phrases translated into English for the rest of us:

  • Carbon: carbon dioxide
  • Pollution: environmentally beneficial
  • 500 biggest polluters: 500 most productive industries
  • A carbon tax will help tackle climate change: I failed Kindergarten science
  • Green jobs: unemployment
  • There will be no carbon tax under the government I lead: Bob Brown leads the government
  • Greens: Marxists
  • Hottest decade on record: hottest decade in the last 3 hundred-millionths of the planet’s lifespan
  • Unprecedented: I have the memory of a goldfish
  • Wind power: an oxymoron
  • The science is settled: shut up
  • The debate is over: shut up
  • Bob Brown: a watermelon
  • Consensus: don’t mention the science
  • Climate change is a moral issue: don’t mention the science
  • Green economy: the Stone Age
  • We must invest in clean technologies: I own shares in the companies that manufacture them
  • The Central Coast is most at risk from rising sea levels: Tanya Plibersek has lost her marbles
  • China is taking action on climate: Greece is a paragon of economic integrity
  • We must respect the science (© M Turnbull): we must respect the science that fits our ideology
  • 80% cuts in emissions by 2050: the lunatics have taken over the asylum
  • Deniers: the Government


  1. “Working Australian Families” = Labor voters
    “Hate media” = people we disagree with
    “We need to..” = I will try to force you to..
    “Global Warming” = Climate Change
    “Climate Change” = extreme climate events
    “Right wing” = people we disagree with
    “Left wing” = not us, but we don’t disagree with them
    “We’re all in this together” = you have no choice

  2. what is really interesting, in my study of this hoax, is point 17. you would not believe how many govn’t agw, ets, carbon tax supporters are either directly or indirectly involved in the “green economy”. the bbc for instance, heaviliy pro-agw has invested most of its pension funds in the hoax. they need the hoax to continue their return on their investments…

  3. Luke Warm says:

    good humour, brightened up my day nearly as much as the new study on CO2 ratios that shows the stupidity of the AGW models that all assume only man-made CO2 emissions are variable.

  4. Baldrick says:

    Some more:
    CARBON NEUTRAL – selling all your diamonds so you have none left
    CARBON POLLUTION – Coal that falls off a conveyor belt
    EXTREME WEATHER EVENTS – When it rains on the washing
    CARBON FOOTPRINT – Similar to fingerprints, but for the feet
    IPCC – Idiots Producing Climate Crap
    CARBON TAX – An excise placed on the owners of too many diamonds
    CLIMATE CHANGE REFUGEE – An individual who’s fled from their country of origin because they couldn’t think of a better excuse
    COMPUTER CLIMATE MODELLING – Not as good as Super Mario Brothers
    HOCKEY STICK – What you pull out of a hat instead of a rabbit
    CARBON CYCLE – A designer label bicycle made from diamonds
    SLASH & BURN – The Labor/Green alliance economy
    ANTHROPOGENIC – Use when you can’t spell man-made

  5. Rick Bradford says:

    “Let’s be perfectly clear about this”:– I am just about to lie to you.

  6. OK, someone do the Liberal/Nationals one now.

  7. froggy uk says:

    Here is a nice article that throws another huge spanner in the works of the green religion.

  8. The True Deniers = Those who can’t handle the truth!

  9. Uhavitbad says:

    Carbon Offsets: Those who buy carbon offsets

  10. ABC has 50 cents each way.

    An ABC news report on 4th August 2011 ( ) has suggested the low-lying Pacific coral island nation of Kiribati has been unable to complete a seawall to protect its airport runway (due to storm surge damage) because promised climate change adaptation funds have not come through. Richard Marles, the Australian governments Pacific Island Secretary said, “This is really the front line of climate change globally. Sea level rises represent an existential threat to this country.”

    Yet in this ABC report, in 3rd June 2010, ( climate scientists have expressed surprise at findings that many low-lying Pacific islands are growing, not sinking. Islands in Kiribati have grown, largely due to coral debris, land reclamation and sediment. The article then goes on to say rising sea levels still pose a threat (exactly how when the islands are growing is not explained).

    Unfortunately, the ABC’s horse ‘Global Warming’ failed to finish!

  11. Simon.
    Welcome back, we missed you. Now get back to work!

  12. Brilliant, Simon. All absolutely spot on. Obviously your mind was still on the job during your break! Difficult to pick a winner but the oxymoronic “wind power” comes close. Maybe also consider adding?
    Evidence: The mayor thinks so.

  13. SBS One will screen the BBC’s disgraceful, deceitful alarmist doco Science Under Attack next Tuesday, August 9 at 8:30 pm. Just wondering, apart from its obvious value as a promo for the Carbon (sic) Tax, if it’s deliberately timed just ahead of James Delingpole’s visit here. James features in it (not all that eloquently, actually) and dumps on it in classic style.

  14. Showing fine form with this post, Simon – love it – can’t ‘share’ it enough! You could turn it into an eBook and I’d buy it!

    Keep it coming 😉

  15. David Davidovics says:

    Future generations = Property of the state

  16. SOYLENT GREEN says:

    Stupendous = Welcome Back.

    I’m stealing it, by the way.

  17. Richard N says:

    It’s the right thing to do = It’s the right thing to do to keep the greens off my back
    Old fashioned carbon based economy = China,
    Job creation in our new clean energy future = A myth we are finding difficult to sustain,


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